Eighteen years ago today, at 1:06pm on Superbowl Sunday, I held my first child in my arms. The feeling of that moment cannot adequately be described, so I won't even attempt it. But I will say this: I love all my children equally; this is very true. And all the births are so special. But the first? Well, that first one made me a mommy. The first one changed me. The feelings that go with that change can never be duplicated; the unique joy of that moment has never been matched.
We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. I wanted to be surprised. For some reason I had myself convinced that it would be a boy....
But she was a GIRL!!
8 lbs 6 oz
When we brought her home, those first few weeks were hard. She would not sleep unless I held her. Then I would put her into her crib, and she would wake up in about ten minutes! Rich kept telling me to put her into the bed with us, that she would sleep well next to me, but I was being told by others that I should NOT do that. That will "spoil" her. I might "roll over" on her. Finally, one morning, Rich got up when she cried. He picked her up, put her next to me while I was sleeping, and I woke up hours later having had the best sleep in 6 weeks. She was next to me, sleeping soundly. From then on...we all slept much better. And her crib became a place where we put our laundry.
She taught me so many things. She paved the way for her future brothers and sisters, because the "mistakes" I made with her (like clipping the skin of her fingertips thinking they were her nails) I did not make with the rest of them!
When I had her, I was still driving around in my first car -- the car I bought when I was seventeen years old. Gotta love those dependable Toyota Tercels.
She had bad hair days.
And Alfalfa hair days.
Oh, she was so much fun, and I LOVED being a mama. For as long as I could remember, the only thing I ever "wanted to be when I grew up" was a mother. After having her, I felt completely 100% right in my world. I felt like I had arrived in the place I was born to be. It was a wonderful feeling.
Happy 18th Birthday, Audriana!
I love you and am so proud of you!
Thank you for making me a mommy :)