It is not me who hasn't even bought one single Christmas gift for anyone - including all nine of my children. It's not me who is waiting until the last possible second, hoping that the stores do not run out of all that is on their lists.
It was not me who gathered all the kids together in about two minutes to snap this Christmas photo - not me who didn't plan, didn't coordinate outfits, who didn't even bother to do who her own hair but instead just threw a Santa hat on and said, "Oh what the heck!" because she is fed up that no one is ever home at the same time to take a picture, and this is the best that we could do before someone has to run out the door again. It wasn't me who completely ignored that one of my children was crying because she got knocked in the face during the shuffle...but instead took the photo anyway due to time restraints and just wanting to get it done!
Oh, and it also wasn't me who photoshopped a Christmas present in the photo to hide the dog's privates because she didn't think that was appropriate to have on a Christmas card.
No, not me!