1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. Bad decisions make good stories.
9. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
10. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
11. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
12. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
13. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. Should've stayed in my sweats, no make-up, hair up in a bun...
14. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
16. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
17. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
18. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but ten bucks says everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time