Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Is this the last one?

Everytime we announce a new pregnancy, we get this expected question:

So this the last one?

We have been getting this question ever since I was expecting #4.  I'm very used to this question.

You should all know that the very worst time to ask me this question is in my first trimester!  when I'm feeling so yucky that I don't even like to get out of bed!  when all I want to do is eat because that's the only thing that eases the nausea! when none of my clothes fit, and I feel so frumpy during my day that I never wear make-up and I've been known to go every 3 days or so without washing my hair!

The answer that I scream in my head during these first few weeks YES! YES!  This is the LAST time I'm going through this awful bet this is the last one!

But then...ask me that same question when I'm in my fifth month of pregnancy, and a little belly is sticking out, and I'm in some trendy maternity clothes, and I can feel the kicks and small movements of the sweet new life inside...

Or ask me when the baby is born and I'm hugging my new baby to my chest....

Or ask me when I have a sweet 4 month old who is laughing and smiling at all the things his familiy is doing to create laughter....

Or ask me when I have a wobbly 12 month old, learning to walk, and trying very hard to chase after all her older siblings....

Or ask me when I have a 14 month old who says "ma ma" for the first time...

And the answer will always be, "Gee, I hope not!" 
And I'll really mean that.
Because it's all just too much fun, and so special, and always always such a blessing to our family.

But don't ask me that question during my first 3 months when I'm feeling so yucky.  I am not to be taken seriously during this time, lol.

Oh, and also don't ask me that question during the crowning stages of the birth.  The answer at that time will always be, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!   YES!  THIS IS THE LAST ONE! "    I like everything about labor, except that last stage!  I'd gladly skip that part if I's the most important part, lol.
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  1. why don't you adopt children? youre obviously a good parent. there are so many kids out there who need homes.

  2. I've always thought about adoption! Maybe someday we will be ready to seriously take a look into that. Right now, my husband is not 100% onboard with that idea. And it's something that should be 100% in the hearts of both parents.

  3. Wow - some people really don't get it at all.
    Dear Anonymous - being open to life means being truly open to whatever life the Holy Spirit sends your way. If Katrina and her husband are called to adopt, being open to life, perhaps one day they will. But for right now, they have to live the way God wants them to... and that means to gratefully accept the gifts God sends.
    @Katrina - my husband and I have discussed adoption for many years. We have come to the conclusion that now is probably the time to use NFP to prevent pregnancy, due to some health issues. But everytime someone says 'when you don't have little kids anymore' - my heart about stops. I CANNOT stand the thought of it. Our house is way too magical with all of these small people! My baby just turned a year, and he is full of it! So funny, and he totally knows it. My 3 y/o suddenly has gotten very cuddley. He says "Mama, I wanna kiss yours head!" Because his dad is a head kisser. He bops them all a kiss on the head everyday on the way to work. So sweet, the things they pick up!
    Good luck with your pregnancy - I hope the yucky passes soon!
    I totally know what you mean about the crowning. I am always so excited until we get to that part - then I want to know why I wanted to go into labor so bad! Hehe! But really, my last 2 natural births, I didn't even get the burning. So thrilled! I didn't throw up, either, and that's always a plus!
    Take care! Blessings, Megan

  4. Megan,
    Some people think that if you already have a lot of children that you *should* adopt if you want more, because that would be the more responsible thing to do, seeing that so many children out there in the world needs homes. (and I'm not saying that this is what anonymous meant with his/her comment, but I'm speaking in general terms) And I can see the point in that way of thinking. But the thing that most don't consider regarding a large family adopting a child is that it would be next to impossible for an infant to be placed with us. We would be rejected for sure when up against childless couples or families with just one or two children. We might be given an older child, but I don't think it would be the best thing for my existing children to have an older child placed with us. Most older children will come with many emotional issues. They would be disruptive to our family, and our family would not be the best placement for a child with such high demands. Studies have shown that such children do much better when placed in a home where they can either be an only child or perhaps have just one sibling. And they typically do better when they are the youngest in a sibling group. So our family would not be a fit at this time. In the future? Who knows? I've thought about fostering babies. have to give them back, when they might be going back to abusive parents? Ugh, I just don't know if my heart could take that. When you foster a baby and they are with you for a long time, you become the only mother the child has known. And to have to hand him or her over one day...oh my gosh, it just breaks my heart thinking of it. But yet, I know that fostering is important.

  5. @meghan- katrina got my point completely. i wasn't saying she HAD to adopt, i just thought that since she loves kids and is a good parent, it would be good for her to adopt. so yeah, i get that everyone's not called to adoption. she just seemed like she might be, she's very sweet and open to kids.
    @katrina- i totally understand about both parents not being on board. i also forgot about the fact that they don't give large families babies! your heart's in the right place for sure. as for adopting older kids, i'll agree w/your saying that many of them have issues. some of them can be quite difficult and are best handled in a family with mostly adopted kids/family with not many kids.

  6. Katrina,

    Hoping the yucky stage passes quickly, that was something I never looked forward to during my pregnancies. My problem is nothing made the nausea go away and once I would get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I was unable to sleep again because the nausea and vomiting were so bad, it was beyond yucky!! But the end results were so worth every stomach ache back ache and muscle ache.

    Regardless of how many you have God has entrusted you with another child which is truly a blessing and a miracle. Praying for the yuckies to go away.

  7. @Anonymous - sorry to have been defensive. I get so many comments all the time - most of them negative and/or why don't you adopt if you want so many kids, that that is the conclusion I jumped to with your comment.
    As for the adopting of an older child - this is what has stopped us in the past. We have gone to the meetings with the county to become foster parents, but never manage to make it past the meeting where they discuss all the potential emotional issues, and what that can mean in a household. We would never want our existing children to be in jeopardy. Our area does have a fairly large amount of babies being placed into Foster-to-Adopt situations, due to so many being drug exposed, or the mothers simply turning them over. It's so sad, yet it is something we really want to consider doing when this baby is just a wee bit older. These kids can go to people with large families, just because they need people to take them. We have a 60 year old friend who is Fostering one of these little people right now, and hopes that someone will adopt him, just because she doesn't think she can manage him as she ages. What a situation - but what a great lady!
    Anyway, sorry this is so long - I wanted to apologize for jumping to conclusions. I shouldn't assume people mean one thing, just because I've heard it so many times before!Blessings, Megan

  8. ha ha, i think everyone is the same way. during those first weeks when i literally couldn't sit down without putting a boppy under my butt because my area was so sore and getting mastitis a hundred times, i was like "ok i'm done." but then you start to miss those babies once they get a little older and want just one more ;)

  9. im so puzzled you have more kids then Kate gosslin and your not on tv?

  10. We got all of our the boring way - one at a time! We wouldn't make good tv ;)

  11. Katrina,

    I am a new follower to your blog and I must say, I love it! I love that you have such a big family. I love that you are still so in love with your husband. I love it all. You seem like such a sweet person and loving mother.

    I am 22 with 3 kids; twins (almost3) and another (7 months). I am constantly asked if we are done having children. At this point in time...NO! :) I also hate the first trimester...and the 2nd & 3rd. haha. I don't do pregnancy that well. I always delclare that this is my last pregnancy...until I hold that baby in my arms.

    God bless your beautiful family!! xoxo

  12. P.S. My parents were foster parents and ended up adopting my three sisters. Adoption is great, but not for everyone!! My sisters were 11, 7 and 6 when they were adopted and they came with a lot of emotional issues!