Sunday, June 8, 2008

Email to my daughter....

Okay, tonight I have some kind of energy to go through all my files and clear them out. I save all kinds of kids art work, letters, notes, etc. in my file cabinet in my office, and add to it all the time as the kids give me things. Well, it's getting too full, so tonight I am transferring their stuff into plastic bins. As I'm doing this, I can't help but to read a few things and this is by far the funniest thing I've come across. It's an email correspondence between me and my oldest daughter that I printed out and saved. Audriana, who at the time she wrote this was VERY anxious and excited to be getting her new laptop computer that we purchased for her. This was written at the beginning of the school year, 2006. Alex had just turned 6, Avery was 4, AJ was only 3, Aislynn wasn't even 2 yet, and Andrew was 4 months old. You have to know the backgroud first: The computer was purchased at the Apple store in our mall. Before we could take it home, they had to install a few of the school's programs in it, and we were told it would be read to pick up in about 3 days...and that they would CALL US when it was ready. Well, Audriana was impatient and asked at least twice a day if we could go pick it up. Finally, she wrote me an email and this is how it went:

Dear Mom,
If it is ready by tonight, will you go get it tomorrow morning and try to drop it off at my school so I can have it for school tomorrow?

Dear Audriana,
No. I'm sorry, but you will just have to wait.
For me to go to the mall tomorrow to get your computer and then drop by your school to give it to you -- well, let me paint that picture for you:

First, I would have to get out of my housecoat, shower and get dressed and pray that while I am doing that Andrew doesn't cry and Aislynn doesn't get into the toothpaste somewhere in the house, and hope that AJ won't tear apart the couch and use it as a trampoline. I would also hope that Avery and Alex stay out of the pantry so that Aislynn won't find her way in there and once again get into the graham crackers and smoosh them all into the carpet. So, taking a shower in the morning, as you can see, is quite the risk for me! If I did manage to shower without the house falling apart or one of the little ones getting hurt... I would next have to get all the kids dressed and seatbelted into their carseats...drive to the mall, find a parking spot...get the double stroller out of the back of the car...get all the kids out of the car and put Andrew and Aislynn into the stroller....walk through the parking lot pushing a double stroller with AJ, Avery and Alex all holding onto the sides of the stroller...walk all the way through the mall to the Apple store...then I'd have to wait in the store while someone went into the back to retrieve your laptop. Now, while I'm waiting for that, I'm quite sure I will have to tell AJ to stop touching something about 18 times, tell Avery to get BACK here about 6 times (you know how she likes to wanter off), tell Alex to stop pestering Aislynn at least 4 times, tell Aislynn to SIT DOWN in her stroller seat constantly (because you know how she's learned to unbuckle herself and how fun that is), and I'd probably be juggling Andrew on my hip during this time because you know how he hates to be in the stroller. And then the guy would come out from the back with your laptop,I'd have to sign some paperwork, and once finished with that I'd take it and walk everyone back through the mall towards our car. While I'm walking through the mall, you know the kids will see that darn candy store and want a bag of candy. And you know we will have to pass the play area and they will want to play. BUT...I will have no time for that because you are waiting at school for your laptop and I'd want to get it to you before your lunch break. So I'd pass the candy store and pass the play area with kids who are tugging and whining at me to go there... somehow I'd manage to get out of the mall with them and back to the car (probably still holding Andrew and pushing the stroller with one hand) and so I'd get to the car, open the doors and shuttle kids back into their carseats...and remember, these would be kids who are now probably crying a bit and whining "But I want candy!!" And then I'd have to fold up that heavy stroller and put it into the back of the car. And then I'd be off...driving to your school...with five little ones now who are not happy at all. Okay. So I'd make it to your school -- and guess what? I have to now find a parking space. But of couse there is never one in the school's parking lot, so I'd have to park on the street. Fun. I'd park, get ALL the kids out of the car again, and while holding your computer in one arm and Andrew in the other, and telling he others to "follow me and stay close" I would make it up the stairs to the office of your school. Of course it's not easy to get the computer to you, so the office people would have to look you up to see where you are at that time (because you know, being in middle school you change classrooms every hour) and so while they are trying to locate you, AJ would have by then climbed onto some chair or desk, Avery would be wandering off to look at the artwork displayed in the front office walls, and Alex would be poking at Aislynn -- whose hand I am still trying to keep hold of, even though she keeps trying to squirm away. And of couse, Andrew is getting very heavy in my arms. I'm sweating now because its very HOT in November this week, isn't it? I would ask Alex to please get AJ off that chair (because of course he's not sitting in it but standing and jumping from it) and when Alex goes to get him off the chair, of course AJ protests with a scream. And it's a nice, quiet office and I'm sure they wouldn't like that kind of noise in there. So finally they would tell me that the computer will get to you, and that I can leave. So then I would have to walk all the way back to the car and put all the kids back into their carseats, and finally drive home. Where they will all be hungry for a snack. And all that would have taken me probably an hour or an hour and a half, interrupting Avery and Alex's morning schooling time with me -- the morning would be completely shot, cranky kids and tired mom and all.

So no...I won't be getting your computer while you are in school tomorrow. Instead, we will do what they told us to do at the Apple store and WAIT until they call us, and THEN go in to pick it up. So, if they call me tomorrow, I will WAIT until you, Afton and Tony get home from school...I will then leave all the little ones at home with Dad (who will be home tomorrow!) while you and I quickly drive to the mall, run into the Apple store, grab your computer and leave. We will slip in and out of that mall very easilsy with the computer in our arms.

Now...doesn't that sound like a much EASIER way for me to get your laptop? I think so!

I have learned this far into the game of being a parent that it just does not make sense to make my life more complicated than it has to be. I sure hope that you can understand this. If not, then SAVE this email...then just wait until you have little ones of your own one day, and then you can go back and reread this email, and you will surely understand what I mean.

Sorry to disappoint you. I know you are anxious to get your laptop and use it...but just remember this; last week you didn't even have a laptop, didn't think you were going to ever have one -- and this week, you WILL have one! Now, doesn't that cheer you up some? Good.

So be patient and wait until it's ready...and we will go down to the mall together without all the little kids to pick it up.

I love you!
Mom


and her email reply:

Dear Mom,
Was I giving you a hard time about my laptop? If I was, I'm sorry. You are right about you saying that I ask too much from you. You do try your best each and every day. Maybe you did not say that in the letter that you wrote me, but I feel that I do ask too much from you. You are such a perfect mom in every single kind of way. Sure, we sometimes get in fights but it's nothing we can't get over. Now, I don't care that much on when I will get my laptop. I used to because of seeing Afton with hers and everyone else's at school. I love you lots and hope they call soon. Remember, you are the best.
Love,
Audriana

** Okay...that just cracked me up. I guess my email to her made her feel a bit guilty which I wasn't trying to do...I was just trying to explain to her why it's not so easy for me to just run down to the mall. It's no easy task when you have five little ones in tow :)

1 comment:

  1. LOL, here I thought you had some kind of magic potion to make all your kids behave. I always wondered how you were able to go out and do stuff with so many little ones in tow. It was funny to read what the reality of it is like. Very familiar!

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